How Do I Know If I'm Mentally Ill?
Let's explore this together.
There many days during the year, even weeks where people advocate for mental health, its awareness, and info + awareness is being spread. What a joy! But what happens when these days are over? Are we being quiet again about mental health? Don't we feel powerful enough to speak up and inspire the people around us? Letting everyone know that we are there for them and if they need support, here's the support that might help.
I feel so happy seeing all the enthusiasm, when people speak about how important mental health is... or even if they just share an illustration on Instagram. But can we make a deal? Could we make this a topic we can talk more about? Or do you lose followers or a standing when you speak about it more?
Well, fact is, mental health isn't something exclusive that only a certain group of people need to take care of. Mental health is something every human being needs to take care of, just like going to the dentist or hair dresser. If your mental health is suffering, your whole being is suffering. Fact, fact, fact.
I don't want to scare you here, but mental health is something we all have to deal with now or later... we can't get away from it. Better is to always take care of it, before something big is happening and we feel lost and don't know what to do.
Because that's how the society is right now. We live our lives... live it after standards of the people around us, having massive pressure, familiar issues and extra expectations, and then we also feel a little spirit that wants us to do something big or become someone great. Teenage years happen, a lot of new hormones, body changes, chemistry changes, the environment around us changes, everything is constantly changing and one day, we find ourselves too overwhelmed with basically anything. We might feel anxiety, we might feel depression, we might feel a social anxiety, we might feel sensitive to energies. A lot can happen and we don't know what to do.
How do we continue from here? What is actually happening here?
This is how it started in my case. I was not educated on depression, anxiety, and all the things that can happen with mental health. Mental health? What is that? In school, we learned that psychos have an issue and get treatment at a mental health clinic - this means that this is something I would never deal with, right? Because I'm not a psycho... But wait, why was that taught? Who made this shit up? Instead of understanding this or not putting a label on it, I accepted it and kept going. So when my mental health struggle started, I didn't even know how to start investing. Being mentally ill was the least I expected. I mean how? Am I a psycho now?
See where clichés, stereotypes, and prejudices take us?
I spectulated with a soft version of a depression, because I felt so sad and couldn't find joy in the things that actually made my heart happy. I knew this would be the answer to my question, but again, I remembered learning that depression is something you mostly get in your mid 40s or 50s, because that's what the people say. I wasn't in my 40s and 50s, still not there. Fuck, there must be something wrong with me.
After my friend helped me learning about highly sensitive people, I finally learned and studied about mental health. I learned about anxieties, depression - its different stages, energies, and how to basically nurture the brain and the gut to create positive vibes. I studied how to function as a human being. I learned more about my food choices, my patterns, my daily routines and things I could integrate to slow down and start healing. I created the perfect healing strategy that brought me to where I am today.
Today I am stronger than ever and I have no fear of saying that I had (still have) mental issues and I am proudly working on them, because I am simply human. I am a human being, I make mistakes, but I learn and grow from them.
I am a seed and I grow. I grow and bloom and I hope my "beauty" can inspire you to bloom, too.
I am not one second ashamed (anymore... I know it takes some nuts to really be open about this) to just talk about all of this. Why should I feel ashamed? One important process was to understand that I am not the only one on this planet who suffers. There are people who actually suffer more than I did.
A sad fact is that so many people suffer in silence right not, not knowing what they are going through, trying to figure shit out, but they feel lost just like I did.
Some people still try to stay away from this topic, because it sounds scary, people don't want to deal with mental health, because they are afraid that others might judge. Again, losing status and reputation. Shall I scare you one more time? To everyone denying or pushing this away from you, or the people who already made this experience - mental health will cross your way sooner or later. You cannot escape from this. I know this sounds a bit dark and scary right now, but today I want to spread a little awareness to finally make the approach to this topic a bit easier. Mental health is there, every day, every night, every second. One day it might say hi, I need some extra help from you. You might not notice it, ot you feel it really hardcore - every body reacts differently to it.
A very personal example again. I recently started to confront my parents with my issues and what I have gone through in the last years. I believe they always blamed my teenage years and hormones for my weird ticks and phases. Maybe it was a little spark, but it was not the whole deal. So, I shared every bit of it and by telling every signal and symptom, I noticed that my parents actually share some of these things with me. They didn't know it and I didn't want to scare them, but I started explaining to them, that when you feel a tightness in your throat and you cannot breathe well, you know, you literally feel like you have the biggest stone sitting inside your throat and on your chest... that's anxiety. My parents didn't grow up with these terms - they don't deal with things like that. "Weak things" like this is something they were taught to ignore and to not understand properly. Now that I read many books and I finally understood the pattern, I was able to enlighten my parents. Helping them with issues no one ever helped them with. I am not saying that I healed them, but this just shows that we all live with certain issues which we might ignore or push away from us. When we finally address it, we can change our daily lives and work on this to vibrate higher.
Maybe you are suffering from anxiety.
Maybe you are having trouble being outside in crowds for a longer time and you feel exhausted as soon as you come home.
Maybe you feel tired all the time.
Maybe you lost your drive for a cerain thing.
Maybe you feel sad for no reason very often.
Maybe you love to isolate yourself.
There are so many things and I know that one day we will stumble over something and say "oh, I got this, yeah I know this feeling… ohhh, so this is called xyz. And this is what I can do to make it better... aha, okay, cool!". We are all going through something so we should all be prepared right to know how to conquer any demon and any situation.
This question might have popped up in your head or maybe someone you know might have asked this: how do I know if I'm mentally ill?
With today's story, I want to ban the stereotype that only psychos have mental illness.
Again, I want to emphasize that we all suffer from mental health in big to tiny aspects. We all experience this in a different way, maybe we also realize it later than we should, but finding out about it and knowing that there are many ways to heal is where we need to go.
I want us to go through some facts real quick. Today's story might interest you, because you are at the same spot where I am: I have made my experiences with mental health, I am learning about it, but now that I am on my road to recovery, I'd like to know more about preventing stuff and keeping a healthy balance. Orrrr you might be a parent, a friend, a family member who'd like to know about mental illness. What is this? How does this start? And how can I help someone in my circle or family who might be sick?
Let's "explore" some symptoms and "warning signs". I actually don't want to call it warning signs... many websites talk about warning signs, I think it's a big too negative, since mental health brings also a lot of clarity and stimulation. So let's not put too much negatitivy around this term...
In general, you might experience this:
Sleep or appetite changes
Rapid or dramatic shifts in emotions or depressed feelings
Recent social withdrawal and loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed
Problems with concentration, memory or logical thought and speech that are hard to explain
Heightened sensitivity to sights, sounds, smells or touch; avoidance of over-stimulating situations
Loss of initiative or desire to participate in any activity
A vague feeling of being disconnected from oneself or one’s surroundings; a sense of unreality
Fear or suspiciousness of others or a strong nervous feeling
Unusual behavior – Odd, uncharacteristic, peculiar behavior
Overuse of substances like alcohol or drugs
Multiple physical ailments without obvious causes (such as headaches, stomach aches, vague and ongoing “aches and pains”)
Thinking about suicide
Inability to carry out daily activities or handle daily problems and stress
An intense fear of weight gain or concern with appearance
I know this is already a lot, but again, you don't have to experience it all, and also you might not experience it super extremely. This should only show you that mental health is connected to a lot! The above mentioned "issues" might only appear starting from your teenage years or even later in adulthood, but know that there are also milder symptoms which can appear in your early childhood.
This could be:
Changes in school performance
Excessive worry or anxiety, for instance fighting to avoid bed or school
Hyperactive behavior
Frequent nightmares
Frequent disobedience or aggression
Frequent temper tantrums
Inability to cope with problems and daily activities
Excessive complaints of physical ailments
Changes in ability to manage responsibilities - at home and/or at school
Defiance of authority, truancy, theft, and/or vandalism
Intense fear
Poor grades despite strong efforts
Reading about this now, please take your time to process this whole information. I know this is a lot and I know it's a bit scary in the beginning, noticing that you might have suffered from several things in the past without working on that issue. I've been there, too...
When you suffer from one of the things or you want to work on your mental health in general, make sure to not only trust the internet or other people's experiences, but get a real diagnosis from a doctor. There are many treatments and as I already mentioned, this varies by diagnosis and by person. Treatment options can include medication, counseling (therapy), social support, and education.
Very important: If you have suicidal thoughts - please read this!!!
Suicidal thoughts and behavior are common with some mental illnesses. Fighting pain with more pain is an escape many people choose or at least think of very often. Again, I've been there, too! Suicide might sound seducing when you are young and confused, but the meaning of it is actually something mentally ill people can't really grasp. The fact that they think of this a lot and don't feel scared or worried just shows that there's a big issue that needs work and healing! Please don't go that path... If you think you may hurt yourself or attempt suicide, get help right away:
Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call your mental health specialist
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or use its webchat on suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat.
Seek help from your primary care provider
Reach out to a close friend or loved one
Contact a minister, spiritual leader or someone else in your faith community
Suicidal thinking doesn't get better on its own — so get help. Also, don't rush this... don't be too hard on yourself. You will battle this day by day. Even if you conquer those thoughts in baby steps, make sure to not give up!
As you can see, mental health is a huge and complex topic. It is connected to so much and as I mentioned in the beginning, mental health is ruling over everything!
If this is not functioning, we are not functioning! Think about all the energy that has been taken away from you. The moments where you suffered without help or a clue about it. We can prevent this together and we need to spread more awareness. We need to understand and finally get to know ourselves, our bodies, our behavior. Don't let anything else rule over you and accept things how they are. Study yourself and choose to improve and continue to grow and learn daily.
I know this sounds like a lot of work, but I also told you that mental health brings clarity along. During my journey, I did not only learn more about this topic, but also about myself. I learned to love myself and feed my strengths. I learned about human beings, their behavior, and energies. I learned so much that makes me so happy and I feel even better sharing all of this with you, because I know there's someone out there who can really use this!
I hope today's story can help and spread a little awareness. Not only for World Mental Health Day, but every day.